Come Home to Yourself: A Ritual to Settle Your Nervous System

Coming Into Your Own

Read time: 4 min

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• ➣ What You'll Need
• ➣ 1. Clear the room.
• ➣ 2. Sit down, hand on your heart.
• ➣ 3. Slow the exhale.
• ➣ 4. Hold the Moonstone.
• ➣ 5. Speak kindly to yourself.

Some stretches of life leave you raw, the old feelings you thought you'd moved past surface out of nowhere. You might be more tender than usual, finding yourself caught off guard by an intense flash of memory while loading the dishwasher. Or prone to misreading a text in the wrong way, or becoming quickly defensive at being misread. You're worn out in a way that sleep doesn't fix, pulled inward or towards home-base, yet unsettled and agitated because there's still so much to do.

Sometimes there's an obvious reason and sometimes there isn't. It might be a season of change or a hard stretch at home. It might be the sky: Mercury turns retrograde a few times a year, and old conversations and feelings tend to circle back. Cancer season arrives each summer, ruled by the Moon and centered on home and family, and the Moon passes back through Cancer every month. A Cancer New Moon or Full Moon can stir the same tenderness. Whatever's behind it, this is the kind of phase this ritual is built for.

These times reward comfort, rest, and emotional honesty. Pushing through won't get you there, and neither will distracting yourself from how you feel. The way back to yourself requires more patience, and it starts with settling the body, not controlling the mind.

Before you try to think your way out of a stressful moment, give your body the signal it can read: the day is done and you're safe. That's what this ritual is for. It's quick and easy, and it doesn't ask much of you.

What You'll Need

• A Mugwort smudge bundle or a pinch of loose-leaf Mugwort
• A piece of Moonstone you can hold
• Somewhere to sit for ten minutes without being needed by anyone

Not sure which variety of Moonstone is right for you in this phase of life? [Choose the best Moonstone for you →]

Curious about Mugworts properties and benefits? [Learn about how Mugwort’s nervous system settling potential→]

1. Clear the room.

Light the Mugwort. If it's a bundle, let it catch, blow out the flame, and move the smoke around the room and over yourself. If it's loose-leaf, set a pinch on a charcoal disc and let it smoke. Mugwort is the herb people reach for when they want to wind down, and the aroma does half the work. It speaks the body's language and tells it to relax.

2. Sit down, hand on your heart.

Put both feet on the floor. Lay one hand flat in the center of your chest. You're not performing anything for anyone. You're giving yourself one steady point of contact to use as an anchor in the moment.

3. Slow the exhale.

Breathe in for a count of four, out for a count of six. Do five or six rounds. The long out-breath is the part that does the work. It sends a signal of safety to the body. Don't control it too much. Let the exhale slow into its own rhythm.

4. Hold the Moonstone.

Rest it in your palm or hold it against your chest. Moonstone is the Cancer stone, ruled by the Moon, traditionally carried for emotional steadiness and fresh starts. Use the weight of it in your hand as a prompt to come back into the moment when your thoughts drift off to a past conversation that's still nagging at you or tomorrow's to-do list. Bring your attention back to the stone and the next exhale.

5. Speak kindly to yourself.

Out loud or in your head, say what you need to hear. Skip the flowery affirmation and speak plainly to yourself: Imagine a wise grandparent or proud mentor affirming your efforts and praising your purpose. Hear them say to you, "The day is over. You did so well. You were so strong and I'm proud of you. There's nothing left you have to do tonight. Tomorrow is another day." Let it be ordinary. Ordinary is settling.

Light a candle and spend five minutes meditating on the hypnotic flame, relaxing the conscious mind and opening up a subconscious door to integrate the shift. Do this when the moment feels chaotic, or in the ten minutes before bed when your mind wants to relitigate the day. The more you do it, the quicker your body settles.

Settle Your System Tonight

Bring patience and comfort back to your evening. Download a printable reference card of this 10-minute nervous system settling ritual to keep by your bedside or altar space.